end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This baby is an asshole
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
