He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
