This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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