And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
