whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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