I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
