It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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