she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
