better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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