I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize