so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am available for nakedness
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
