And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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