they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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