i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
