a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
