Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
