Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
