haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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