i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
