her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
