I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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