I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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