There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
