I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
