Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
