I CAN MOONWALK!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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