Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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