I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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