It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
