My room smells like vodka and shame
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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