I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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