You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
