clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
