on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
