Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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