Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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