she woke up with a sticky ear
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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