Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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