It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize