would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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