I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
