i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
