K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
