you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
