I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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