She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
His nipple licking is glorious
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