Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
