Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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