he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
