I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize