I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
