afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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