dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize