ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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