If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
