I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
