Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
