Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
