Old men and throwing up are my life now.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
