Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
