Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
