home. puking in laundry basket.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
